His name is Dr. Long John and he answers every call.
I went to Dr. Long John’s office, I said “Dr.! The pain is…killing me.”
He said “Don’t worry baby - its just your cavity needs a little…filling.”
Oh Jesus Long John, don’t you ever go away.
(Source: lovelikenicole, via chadoallen)
You could’ve talked to the branch manager and said that they should call wells fargo, who issued the cashier’s check and ask them to verify the funds and release the hold. A lot of customers bitch about the hold, just say you gotta pay an important bill or something
first, wells fargo doesnt let me view/print my online statements, so i move my $$ to bank of america via cashiers check. then BoA puts a hold on my money because my account is too new to have that much money in it -___- so pretty much im $$ less because i moved it all from wells fargo to BoA but at BoA they put a hold on it -___________-
Some guy just proposed to this girl from my high school by sending her the ring through the mail. I know this because she posted a picture of the ring on Facebook. Everyone was saying how cute it was cause he was deployed and everything and yeah, i get it, it may be cute for some people - but if my future husband ever pulls that shit off with me, I will rip his balls off. BUT YAA SUP3R CuT3 LuPiitA CongratZ!
(via chadoallen)
I’m a bitch, I really am. Good thing I know how to censor myself.
(Source: shitshilarious, via garunriot)
Here’s what I don’t get: If the fact that the girl doesn’t know she’s beautiful makes her beautiful, and the fact that you keep singing that, when she finally believes you - the fact that she in fact IS beautiful - then that means what initially made her beautiful is gone. So yeah, she’s gonna be ugly then.
Anonymous asked: How can I make my dick thicker?
Mmm, try pills? I’m not sure if they work, but it’s worth a shot?
San Francisco in November, the water - its still warm.
Just meh.
i look at this and it stresses me out lol
sooo happy to be done with school for the semester.
Yes.
I’m reunited with my best friend.
Under the Booty
“Ms. New Booty” vs. “Under the Sea”
fucked by daddy’s best friend
roadside fuck
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OMG I wanna do this
